


"For There is Nothing Lost but May Be Found"

by MyFirstistheFourth



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Fluff, Humor, Kissing, Light Angst, Loneliness, M/M, Pining, Romance, Secret Snarry Swap 2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 20:40:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21744976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyFirstistheFourth/pseuds/MyFirstistheFourth
Summary: The holiday break is proving to be a lonely one for Professor Potter until a surprising turn of events makes for a very Happy New Year.
Relationships: Harry Potter/Severus Snape
Comments: 34
Kudos: 246
Collections: Secret Snarry Swap19





	"For There is Nothing Lost but May Be Found"

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to the mods for the gracious extension so that I could manage to participate this year. I have struggled with my writing for over a year now but truly didn't want to miss writing for the Swap again. I hope you enjoy. My constant gratitude to IrelandSpades for standing by me through the struggles and being a Terrific beta to boot. Lastly, the title is taken from "The Faerie Queene" by Edmund Spenser. Ten points to the readers who know how the quote and Our Professor are connected. ;) :)
> 
> Prompt No. 45 from torino10154: With his kids grown up and moved away, Professor Potter is especially lonely during the long, cold winters at Hogwarts.

“You mark my words, Severus! I am retiring at the end of term and nothing you can say will stop me. I am far too old to continue carrying on this way. I suggest you begin looking for my replacement; though, Merlin knows where you’ll find someone to put up with the things I do.”

While Pomona sipped her tea and nodded silently in support, Harry hid his smile behind his cards. Minerva had been making the same threat every year since he became a professor and nothing had yet to come of it. He glanced up just in time to catch the barest twitch of a smile on Severus’ lips as he played his next card and replied.

“I won’t hear of it, Minerva. You are an asset to this school, the children, and to me. I simply can not do without you.”

McGonagall didn’t even look up from her cards as she tutted loudly. “Well that is certainly true enough!” Their game continued without further comment on the matter but Harry knew Minerva was secretly chuffed at Severus’ words.

Considering that Harry had yet to win a game against his fellow professors in the entire five years of his tenure, he invariably found his attention wandering from his cards to the man seated to his left. Oh, he did try to conceal his interest as general curiosity regarding his surroundings but his fascination with Severus Snape had not diminished since learning the truth all those years ago.

As with many wizards, age had been very kind to the professor. He retained his leanly muscled physique and rigid posture as well as his scathing wit and sharp intellect. And while Severus bemoaned the slight dusting of grey hair at his temples as making him look _old_ , Harry thought it made him look even more distinguished and added a certain nobility to his countenance. A sentiment Severus certainly would have scoffed at loudly if Harry were ever to voice it.

A sharp nudge to his leg beneath the table from Minerva brought Harry’s wayward attention back to his cards along with a visible blush he did his best to cover by ducking his head in apparent concentration. He glanced cautiously from beneath his lowered eyelashes to find Severus seemingly unaware of his lapse as he returned Minerva’s knowing wink with a sheepish smile and focused on the game.

When the clock tower struck ten, the game had long since finished and the professors were relaxing with their nightcaps of choice before turning in for the evening. Minerva sighed as the final chime sounded and pushed back from the table. “That’s my cue for rounds, ladies and gentlemen. See you all at breakfast.”

Harry quickly motioned her back to her hot toddy. “I’ll go. You relax and enjoy your drink.”

McGonagall looked as though she would refuse but after a moment she sat back, picking her cup up with a smile. “Thank you, Harry. That’s very kind of you.”

Harry was already on his feet, he did rather feel he owed her this one after the save earlier. “Think nothing of it, Minerva.”

Grabbing his cloak to ward off the evening chill of the drafty hallways, Harry was off on his rounds after a brief goodnight to his coworkers. It wasn’t as though there was much to check on during the Christmas holidays but Harry did like to look in on the students who stayed at Hogwarts over the break. He remembered well what a lonely time it could be without friends or family around. Those thoughts only reminded him of his own loneliness and the reason he gladly took patrol as a distraction. Harry sighed and shook himself slightly. He couldn’t help that life moved on for everyone. He had just seen the children and his extended family for Christmas and it was wonderful. What bothered him was not knowing when they would all be able to be together again. Most had moved quite far away and everyone was so busy now. After building a life around his family, Harry found himself somewhat adrift with his children all grown and no longer needing him so much.

Knowing it was futile to dwell on this topic, Harry determinedly set his worries aside and focused on the task at hand. He always started upstairs and worked his way down to the dungeons so he turned and headed up the nearest staircase. It took close to an hour to cover the numerous passageways making sure all was silent and secure as it should be. When he emerged from his tour of the dungeons, he headed out the entranceway and into the night rather than returning to his rooms as one would expect.

Thick flakes of snow showered down with the gusting wind, coating Harry in a thin mantle of white as he emerged into the dark, empty courtyard. It was becoming a nightly ritual; a frigid vigorous walk to exorcise some of his restlessness before he turned in for the night. The persistent melancholy that had afflicted him since Christmas appeared to be settling in for the duration of Hogwarts winter term but he did his best to keep himself otherwise occupied. Harry sighed heavily, clapping his mittened hands together and stamping his feet to stir his circulation as he made another round of the courtyard. 

He continued to walk until his cheeks were pink and nearly numb before deciding to call it a night. As he stepped under the stone archway, eagerly returning to the warmth of the castle, Harry’s years as an Auror made him keenly aware of being watched. There was no threat Harry could perceive, merely an intense gaze. Thinking it was likely a student breaking curfew, Harry shrugged and headed inside.

He might have been quite surprised had he known the actual identity of the dark-eyed person that watched him from a window high above.

{*} {*} {*}

Two nights later, as Harry patrolled the halls, he was startled from his reverie as he rounded the next corner and crashed straight into a broad, firm, decidedly masculine chest. It was only reflexes born of years of training that allowed Harry to quickly grasp the person in front of him and not land smack on his bum. Almost as quickly, Harry felt long slender fingers grasping his biceps. Trying very hard not to notice how warm those hands felt through his robes, Harry quickly sorted himself and stepped back only to be struck dumb when he saw who it was.

“Pardon me, Professor. I hope I didn’t hurt you.”

One eyebrow rose sharply as Severus’ spoke. “Professor? Honestly, after five years I would think I could cease with the reminders regarding proper forms of address for co-workers. And no, I am fine. Finding a fit younger man in my arms has yet to be the death of me.”

While the blatant compliment in that statement failed to register, Harry still flushed hotly at the implications his imagination ran wild with. Severus had never given any indications regarding his preferences. He hadn’t even been on a date of any kind as far as Harry knew: at least, not since the war. “I’m sorry. Severus. Perhaps it’s easier to slip into old habits when I’m out of sorts. And I am relieved that you are unharmed” Hearing the slight hitch of his own words, Harry hurried to move the conversation on to a new topic. “What brings you here at this time of the night?”

Severus studied him for a moment, his intense gaze missing nothing. “I seem to find the castle far too quiet during the breaks these days. Without additional activities to occupy me as in your time at school, I tend to get a bit restless. I thought I would, perhaps, join you on rounds.” He hesitated. “The company might be good...for both of us.”

Harry must have blinked dumbly for far too long as Severus crossed his arms over his chest and his expression twisted into a slight scowl. “Then again, perhaps I came to monitor a professor who seems far too easily addled these days; losing his focus at cards and crashing into innocent bystanders.” Severus tutted to himself. “Could be a problem. Definitely something I need to stay on top of.” The second eyebrow rose to meet the first, seeming to demand that Harry speak, even as the scowl settled into an amused smirk.

Harry finally managed to shake his stupor and smiled in reply. “I’m sorry, sir. No problems here. You are certainly welcome to join me. I think I would enjoy the company as well.”

They covered the floors in companionable silence for a time, neither feeling compelled to fill the silence with idle chatter. Harry found it oddly relaxing. Their silence proved to be the downfall of a couple of Ravenclaws found out of bed and snogging madly behind a tapestry.

Harry managed to maintain his stern expression while Severus chastised them both, deducted a significant amount of points for their indiscretion, and then gave them detention on top of it. The horrified expressions on the pair’s faces were quite genuine and Harry had to wonder just how many students had faced Severus’ wrath over the years. Given his extensive history with rule breaking, the irony of being a professor now was not lost on Harry. Only once both students were returned to their dorm and secured did Harry allow his laughter to bubble up and spill forth.

Severus turned, one eyebrow raised in question. Harry only laughed harder.

“I’m sorry. I had almost forgotten just how frightening you could be. And now I’m a professor as well! I'm supposed to be you! You have to admit it’s a bit funny.”

Severus merely gazed at Harry for a moment before a smile slowly spread across his face. “It is rather amusing; I’ll give you that. Though I doubt you could ever actually be me in this scenario. I have long suspected your rebellious ways never quite disappeared, leading you to be somewhat lenient on students who resemble you in your youth.”

Harry’s eyes widened comically before he smiled in return. “You could be right. I’ll admit it.” They shared their mutual amusement and Harry admired the way a genuine smile transformed Severus’ stoic demeanor. In his opinion, Severus didn’t smile nearly enough. Not for the first time, Harry considered why the Headmaster was still alone after all these years but that was not the kind of thing one could ask Severus Snape.

Clearing his throat with a small cough Harry motioned them further down the hallway. “Shall we, Sir?”

They continued their rounds without further incident and Severus bid Harry farewell as they returned to the entryway from the dungeons, leaving Harry to take his evening walk alone. 

Once again, Harry knew he was watched. As he stepped under the stone archway this time, Harry quickly turned to look in the direction he felt the gaze most strongly. The castle was completely dark; Harry just caught a bit of light from an upstairs window before it was snuffed out sharply as though the thick curtains had been snapped shut. Harry knew from experience that that particular window belonged to the Headmaster’s office. He went to bed with new questions to add to his usual contemplation. 

{*} {*} {*}

To Harry’s exceeding pleasure and confusion, Severus appeared the next night he was on patrol...and the next. Severus had never gone out of his way to spend extra time with Harry, so he wasn’t sure what had wrought this change in the man’s actions. He wasn’t complaining, however, as he enjoyed the quiet, private time with the object of his secret interest. Silence gave way to tentative conversation, then surprising bouts of humor, their evenings always ending once they returned from the dungeons and Severus left Harry to his walk. Harry was certain it was Severus who watched him each evening and viewed the persistent gaze as warm and protective, though he couldn't say just why. It made Harry feel a little less alone as he went to bed each night.

Since Severus had made the first overtures in broadening their friendship, Harry felt obliged to make more of an effort as well. He invited Severus to join him for chess in the Great Hall. After years of games with Ron, Harry was confident he could at least hold his own against Severus, as he was reputed to be quite the skilled strategist himself. 

The few students at the school occupied themselves with various activities along the tables, so it seemed natural to join them. Severus was hesitant, glancing around at the students looking their way curiously. Harry understood and teased him amiably about choosing where they sat if the Gryffindor table was too daunting a prospect. Severus gave one derisive snort, then chose the end of the Slytherin table tucked into one corner of the hall.

Harry fought his own laughter as he set down the chess set and teased again. “Why Severus! If I didn’t know any better, I would think you are embarrassed by me.”

Severus huffed a single breath that could have been a laugh were his lips not drawn tight. “I rather believe that is my line.”

Harry didn’t even think before he reached across the table and clasped Severus’ long fingers with his own. “Never, Severus! I would never be embarrassed by you. Anyone who knows half a whit about you could be nothing but honoured to be seen in your company.”

It was Severus’ turn to be struck dumb as he alternated his stare between their clasped hands and Harry’s fiercely earnest expression. Harry swallowed reflexively as he realized what he had done...what he had said. He quickly checked to see if he had been seen by any of the students and slowly withdrew his hand to his own personal space.

“I...I apologize, Professor. That was out of line. I sometimes get carried away with my own convictions but I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

Severus remained silent for a moment, flexing the fingers Harry had just held and not even deigning to correct Harry's slip in address. “Apology accepted, Harry. Nothing to worry about. I…I did not mind.” He turned away as he spoke the last, hiding what appeared to be a flush of pink on his pale cheeks. “Perhaps, we should get on with the chess.”

Harry agreed and set about laying out the board and pieces. Both men played with intense concentration, possessed of a ferocious competitive streak. Neither spoke again of the incident, though, truth be told, each man frequently recalled the touch of the other as their games continued.

{*} {*} {*}

Things had progressed nicely over the remaining days of the holiday break as both men seemed to gravitate toward each other anytime they were in the same space. Harry couldn’t speak for Severus but he found himself wanting more out of their friendship. While he had tried dating a few women and men following his divorce, Severus was unlike anyone Harry had ever been with. He felt that Severus was capable of consuming him and he was willing to be consumed. Harry did worry that their growing closeness would change once the students were back for winter term. Maybe he was only a way to fill the lonely hours for Severus, a means to an end.

Harry found himself dwelling on those thoughts far too much as New Year’s Eve arrived. The professors always had a party and there was a decided tendency for over imbibing and letting one's hair down for the night. Harry wasn’t in the mood to start the new year with a raging hangover but he joined his fellow professors nevertheless. 

Severus was already there, engrossed in a conversation with Filius near the fire. He glanced over and greeted Harry with a small smile and tilt of his head. Harry raised his glass in reply and moved around the room greeting everyone else. He passed the evening amiably, conversing with Poppy about the latest bunch of students filling her infirmary routinely and indulging in the delicious treats the house-elves kept sending up to the large serving trays around the room but he kept an eye on his drink after the first time the glass magically refilled itself. 

His gaze kept straying to Severus, who had yet to approach him directly this evening. Harry began to fear that his thoughts were correct. Severus was putting distance between them as the start of term drew near. Or perhaps he did not wish to show any kind of favoritism among the other professors. Or none of these things could be the case but Harry couldn’t shake the insecure thoughts from his head. 

He buried what he could by losing himself in a debate between Minerva and Filius on the merits of charms versus transfiguration. He was succeeding until the trays began to fill with glasses of chilled champagne to ring in the new year. Harry checked the time, realizing there were less than five minutes to go. He considered yet another New Year without more than the customary kiss on the cheek, another without someone special of his own to share the evening and so much more with, and the prospect simply became too daunting. He quickly excused himself and was making his way to the door.

“Harry?”

Harry turned at the sound of the deep voice he would recognize anywhere. Severus stood behind him with two glasses of champagne in his hands. He held one out in offering.

“Surely you weren’t leaving before ringing in the New Year with me?”

Harry accepted the glass of champagne but couldn’t bring himself to speak, uncertain which of his scrambled thoughts might escape from his lips at this moment. He flinched as he heard everyone begin the countdown; then froze as Severus stepped closer and warm fingers wrapped around his elbow. Severus appeared to be leaning in, eyes questioning as he spoke.

“Harry?”

_“...three, two, one! Happy New Year!”_

Harry heard the celebration begin as the magical fireworks began to explode over the castle and still couldn’t bring himself to speak. When he felt a gentle tug on his elbow and heard the concern in Severus’ voice as he called his name once more, Harry felt himself backing away. For reasons he couldn't begin to fathom, Harry set down his glass and backed himself right out the door and into the hall before turning his back on the party and walking quickly away.

He didn’t really consider where he was going but he ended up in the astronomy tower watching the fireworks as he rubbed his arms vigorously to warm up and kicked himself for his own stupidity. He was a grown wizard with grown children and apparently was too much of a coward to face a potential relationship head on. Maybe he had forgotten how.

He continued to shiver and mentally berate himself until a warm cloak was draped over his shoulders and he was turned gently with firm hands on his shoulders. Severus didn’t speak as he drew the cloak closed and fastened it at Harry’s throat.

Harry’s mouth was suddenly dry and his tongue felt thick with emotion. His voice coming out as a hoarse whisper as he spoke.

“Why are you here, Severus?”

“I would have thought the answer to be rather obvious. Although, perhaps I was mistaken and you came up here to intentionally freeze to death.” The words sounded harsh but the voice was suspiciously subdued.

Harry’s voice came out a bit stronger as he let his confusion and frustration come through. “Why are you here...with me? Why have you been watching me? What do you want?”

“There are several answers to your questions, Harry. None of which are entirely cut and dry.” Severus rushed to elaborate before Harry exploded in a fit of anger. “As for watching you...let us say that I am a man well-versed in the signs of spending far too much time alone with your thoughts. Far too familiar with being alone and lonely. Initially, I thought we could be of help to each other. And I certainly have been enjoying the time we have spent together.”

“And that’s it? That is all it was? I’m just a means to an end after all?” Harry felt as though his heart was in his throat as he asked the questions.

Severus stepped closer and raised one finger to Harry’s chin, gently pressing until Harry tilted his head upward. “That is hardly all that you are.” Severus leaned forward, lowering his lips to Harry’s in a chaste kiss.

Harry gasped and felt Severus’ lips curve into a smile against his own.

“Happy New Year, Harry.” 

The words floated on the warm moist air of Severus' breath across Harry’s lips causing him to shiver deliciously in response

Harry stared at Severus’ lips, blinking in wonder for a moment, still feeling the press of lips against his own. He sounded breathless when he spoke. “Is that all?”

Severus laughed huskily and it sent a jolt of want down Harry’s spine. “Hardly. That is merely the beginning.” Severus leant down and kissed Harry again. This time the kiss was returned readily as Harry’s hands found and grasped Severus’ waist.

This time when they parted Harry smiled softly, his earlier doubts melting away quickly. “And what was that one for?”

“An invitation. If you would care to accept it.” Severus’ expression was most sincere.

Harry leaned closer, pressing one hand against Severus’ chest, and drummed his fingers lightly. “An invitation to what?”

Severus leaned in close his sultry voice low and suggestive in Harry's ear. “A New Year’s nightcap back at mine. Sitting together on the sofa in front of the fire. For a start.”

Harry shuddered in anticipation, nodding enthusiastically as he reached up, his fingers running through Severus’ hair as he pulled him down. The presumed kiss was interrupted abruptly when Harry pulled back, eyes narrowed in curiosity.

“Why now, Severus? I’ve been here five years and you’ve never so much as gone on a date or batted an eyelash my way?”

“I can assure you that I have never batted an eyelash nor flaunted any other part of my being at a potential partner.” Severus drew himself up to his full imposing height but Harry could see it for the defensive tactic it really was.

“Come on! Tell me the truth. This will never work between us if we can’t be honest with each other.”

Severus pinched his lips tightly together for a few moments as he considered his options. Harry remained close, waiting patiently, reluctant to remove himself from the personal space they shared lest Severus attempt to backtrack.

“Fine!" The response came suddenly startling Harry. “Minerva might have given me a bit of a push.”

Knowing just how stubborn Severus was Harry tilted his head to one side and chuckled softly.

“A bit of a push?”

“She might have threatened to quit post haste if I didn’t...I believe her words were, 'Get off my bony arse and do something about my infatuation with Potter'.”

Harry laughed out loud, able to picture it perfectly.

“I am glad to know you find my suffering amusing.” Severus commented drily, though there was a smile on his lips. “She threatened to haunt me from beyond the grave through every painting in the castle if I didn’t...em...what was it? Oh yes. 'Stop stringing that poor boy along'.”

Harry only laughed harder, wiping tears from his eyes.

Severus sniffed sharply in offense. “The very nerve. As if I would even string anyone along at all!”

Harry couldn’t hold back any longer, pulling Severus down for a much more enthusiastic and heated snog that left both of them breathless before they pulled apart.

Before Severus could voice the question on his tongue Harry spoke. 

“To new beginnings!”

Severus chuckled in amusement.

“Indeed.”

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment here or at [LiveJournal](https://snape-potter.livejournal.com/3896797.html), [Insanejournal](http://asylums.insanejournal.com/snape_potter/1826039.html), or [Dreamwidth](https://snape-potter.dreamwidth.org/1154073.html).


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